Grow up

Monday, May 11, 2009

GROW UP


I remember having those words spoken to me.
As if the words were not enough, the tone of voice wrote them all in red,
fire-engine red.

I'll bet you have had that happen too!

And it stung....for I thought I was pretty grown up already! :)

Instead, this word from my sister - a full two years "growner" than I :), diagnosed the apparent littleness of my behavior, and the wrongness of my self-assessment.

Double ouch.

And so I pay a bit closer attention to the words in the Bible that say "grow up"....for I don't want anyone else but that holy book to speak that to me again.

The whole verse I am reminded of that includes "grow up" reads like this:
"Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." (Ephesians 4:15)

It's like a two-cylinder engine.

Speak the truth

Do that in love.

Speak the truth.

Do that in love.

The first stroke (if you would) is "speak the truth."
Don't fudge on what the case of the matter really is. Don't compliment when you should be offering constructive cricism. Don't say I "love" you, when "I like you" would take an element of faith to even speak. Don't deny the person the gift of your objective insights and kind feedback that will take them so far down the path of character building and maturity. If you refuse to speak the truth, you are a harm to them, not a blessing.
Parents that don't speak the truth to their children, deny them a foundation for the rest of their lives. They end up living in a make-believe world where no one sees their faults or can call them on growing up.

But..."Do it in love."
One way I have found to do this is to express genuine love prior to tough truth, and after truth is expressed, to follow up with genuine expressions of love again.
I am challenged by this cycle of the grow up engine....so if I have to speak hard truth, I will often write it out for my own sake...and pray over it a lot, and talk with someone close to me about it to make sure it has balance and wisdom tucked in. Naked truth can be daggar like. Thoughtless words do separate good friends.

Speak the truth in love.....and if we do, we will grow up in every way.

So, is there any fibre you need to add to your truth telling?
....any softness to your expressions of affirmation and regard?

Only a speaker of truth? Bet you don't have too many long-term friends!

Only a relater through love, softness? Bet you don't have too many long-term friends!

A speaker of truth with love?

Ah, now there is a key to "all kinds of growth."

Selah..

David